Before I came to Haiti last year with my family, I really wrestled with Fear. There were many sleepless nights for weeks prior to leaving. One night Fear even caused me to “runaway”. I just took off one night and drove for hours before turning around and heading for home. Fear told me many lies and set up many what-if scenarios in my thinking. But I knew that God had called me to come this place. He had a job for me here as well as something for me to learn. So through each of my hard times I would just call on Him to help me and to strengthen me. He was faithful and I made the trip and it was wonderful.
Before we even left Haiti on our first trip, my entire family knew that we would return the following year. This year I had no problems with Fear. He was gone, he had been defeated by the power of The Most High. But this year, Doubt showed up. I began this trip very excited about returning to visit old friends, to get to know all my new team members and to engage the children of Leveque in VBS. But even at the airport in Atlanta, Doubt began to whisper in my ear. I saw many other Missions Teams from all over the U.S. getting ready to depart. Once we arrived in Port-Au-Prince airport, there were many more plane loads for mission teams. Is all this help really making any difference? As we left the airport and began our drive through the town and past many villages I still saw so many tent cities and poverty. Are things any better than when I left last year? The next day, we were able to go to church in the new church building in Leveque. It is a beautiful new church and people seem so proud of it. But the hearing and the deaf still seem very separate from each other. Will things ever improve? Why are you here? What difference can you make in such a short amount of time? Do these people even want you here? So I just went on through the rest of the day and on into Monday with these questions playing in my head. My heart was very heavy and I was feeling quite defeated and we had not even begun yet. Yes, Doubt is powerful, but not more so than my God.
On Monday afternoon, we began VBS in the pavilion that served as the church before the new building was complete. There is a bulletin board at the back of the space that has a list of who will move in the next batch of houses as they are completed. I was looking at this list when a young Haitian man that I had not seen before came up beside me and started asking about the list. We had a brief conversation about it. He was not familiar with it because he lives in another village and was in Leveque with another team serving as their translator. He stayed to talk with me and soon was telling me how much he appreciated the teams that come down to Haiti. He says the Haitian people are so happy for the help and the encouragement. He said there is much need, but he sees things improving and he shared with me his hopes and dreams for the future. Then he told me to be sure and smile whenever I greet the Haitians. He said, “They love it when you come to smile with them”.
At this point, I had tears in my eyes. He did not know why. All I could do was give this young man a big hug and thank him. I told him that God had sent him to me that day and that I had needed to hear what he had told me. He smiled at me and I smiled at him and together, leaving all doubt behind, we went and joined in VBS.
–Christina Mapp